See Yourself in the Temple- NK Sacrament Talk June 11, 2016

See Yourself In the Temple

Sacrament Talk by Nicole Brinkerhoff

June 11, 2016

I shared this on FB about my experience with this talk:

"I was asked to speak to my church congregation today about temples. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and feelings about things that are important to me, but I really don't enjoy that my body usually tries to kill me while teaching/speaking: racing heart, dry mouth, trembling, hyperventilating. Generally my body responds like a bear is trying to eat me and it's full panic mode! Today I really wanted to deliver the message without those things getting in the way so I said a silent, fervent prayer right before I got up: "Heavenly Father, please calm my heart so I can give these remarks with thy Spirit. " I remember as I was closing in the name of Jesus Christ the fact that He has all power and can do all things. Immediately my heart rate started to slow and I began to feel at peace. I was able to share my remarks without rushing or feeling anxious or struggling to breathe, and that's a small miracle for me. I know that prayer works and I am so grateful that we have access to His power if we ask in faith. #HisDay #smallmiracles"

Last Sunday Bishop Gatherum asked me if I would speak on Elder Cook’s most recent conference address about temples-specifically becoming worthy and staying worthy of entering the temple. I’m grateful to be able to speak on this topic because temples are so important in my life, and it’s been a privilege to organize my thoughts on the temple and what it means to me.

First I want to talk about the process of getting to the temple. Then I want to talk about some of the blessings of the temple.

Getting to the Temple

First I want to start with a little personal story. As many of you know, we had our first child about a year ago and he has been the light of our lives. But one thing that has proven harder than I thought is getting to the temple. Getting to the temple is much much harder with a little one in tow - and not because we aren’t willing! We would be willing to drop everything and go at the drop of a hat almost any day, but finding someone to babysit a busy toddler for 6 hours, and funding that endeavor, is difficult!

So often we take him on the road with us to the temple and try to find a relative or friend in that distant city to watch him for a couple of hours while we do a session, instead of the entire 6 hours if we leave him at home. Incidentally, I’m thinking about starting a co-op called Traveling to Temples with Toddlers for Tending. Let me know if you want to join.

Anyway, even with willing relatives and friends in distant cities, temple attendance has still only happened a handful of times since having Levi, although we love going to the temple. So for our anniversary last year, Michael and I decided to go out to the city and drop Levi off at Michael’s aunt’s house and do a temple session at the Oqhuirr Mountain temple. This took tremendous coordination and waiting for days off to line up with their schedule and finally making the trek out there- an all day ordeal. We finally get to Salt Lake and drop Levi off with bottles and diapers and nap instructions and head excitedly to the temple. Going to the temple together is usually the only time we get alone together and I just love it. I love walking up to the temple with my sweetheart and thinking how glad I am that I can be with the man I love in the place that I made a covenant to be his wife for eternity. So we’re reminiscing about our wedding day as we are walking up to the temple, enjoying the beautiful weather and so grateful that all of our sacrifices led us here together, both when we got married and now.  We get to the recommend desk and the gentleman interrupts all our daydreaming when he says, “I’m sorry your recommend just expired 2 days ago.” Just like that. No apology. No I’m so sorry. No suggestion of alternative plans. Just like that and we have to step aside in our shock to let other patrons through.

2 days ago!! I’m thinking, “ There’s gotta be something you can do? Can’t we pull some strings or call someone? I know people in high places!” But I knew it was useless. Despite all of our planning and preparations, we actually were not prepared to enter the temple.  We should have known, we got our recommends 2 years previously when we were married, of course they’d be expiring near our anniversary. But none of that mattered. None of the preparation, planning or significance of the event mattered, all that mattered is that we were no longer “recommended” to enter the House of the Lord, and the wedding party moved on without us. It was that black and white. No previous good behavior. No history. The fact that I was a temple worker for 8 years- none of that mattered. At that moment I was no longer “recommended” to enter the temple.

I will never, as long as I live, forget what it feels like to not be able to have access to that holy place! For a brief second I imagined what it would be like after this life because of my carelessness if I somehow found myself unprepared or unworthy to meet my Father. All of my excuses and all of my good intentions wouldn’t matter if I hadn’t done those things that he had asked me to do to qualify to come into His kingdom. I determined then to never be in a position ever again where I wouldn’t be found worthy to enter into the House of the Lord. It was a bit traumatic!

In thinking about this talk, and about being worthy of entering the temple, I began to think about those who may not have had the opportunity to go to the temple yet, or who have been in the past but not recently.  I think there may be among us some who did at one time but currently do not  have a temple recommend. Either the temple is something new and unknown to those who have recently joined the church, or are just becoming active in the church again after a period away. Or perhaps it is something that has slipped outside of our very busy lives for a time. Or perhaps there have been small things that have gotten in the way of our worthiness and we’ve convinced ourselves it will be too hard to change to qualify for a temple recommend. Or even that we are just not “temple material”, we’re just satisfied with coming to church and that’s probably good enough. Well I’m here to tell you, it’s not enough. Because there is so much more!!!

I was trying to think of an analogy of what it’s like to be a member of the church but not take advantage of the blessings of the temple, and the only thing I could think of was this: It’s like being on a road trip and driving through the desert for hours and hours and hours and hours, just hoping to find some place to stop and rest and get some food. Then out of the blue you find a Dairy Queen in the middle of the desert where there has been nothing for hours. So you pull up…. and decide to go inside and get a glass of luke warm tap water from the bathroom sink. Blech!  Or you decide to just order some fries and drive a way. Can you imagine? What a tragedy!! You can’t go to Dairy Queen in the middle of a desert and not get ice cream!! That’s the best part of Dairy Queen! How can you describe the beauty of a mint oreo shake to someone? How can you convince them of what they’re missing out on? I think I would stand outside that Dairy Queen with a sign and say, “This is the best think that will ever happen to you! There’s nothing better ahead or behind! This will parch your dry lips and fill your bellies with happiness! You just have to order a mint oreo blizzard! I’ll order one for you and we can share it!!”

Of course, that’s not the way that Heavenly Father works, and lucky for all of us I’m not in charge. But sometimes I wish I could help others better understand the sweetness of the temple. It is literally an oasis in the desert. Every temple is a piece of heaven on earth! The blessings of the temple are literally out of this world. There is nothing to compare with it- everything else is just sand and desert. The temple is such a respite for a soul in such a sin-sick world.  It’s a place of refreshment, renewal and eternal perspective.

Sister Jean A Stevens of the General Primary Presidency has said, “As essential and significant as the covenant of baptism is, it is only the beginning—the gate that puts us on the path to eternal life. Ahead on our journey are temple covenants to be made and priesthood ordinances to receive. As Elder David A. Bednar reminds us, “As we stand in the waters of baptism, we look to the temple.” (Sister Jean A Stevens, Covenant Daughters of God)

Likewise, Bonnie Oscarson, YW General President has said

“We believe that this Church is more than just a good place to go on Sundays and learn how to be a good person. It is more than just a lovely Christian social club where we can associate with people of good moral standing. It is not just a great set of ideas that parents can teach their children at home so they will be responsible, nice people. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is infinitely more than all of these things….We believe that priesthood power makes it possible to make covenants and receive ordinances in holy temples that will someday enable us to return to the presence of God and live with Him forever. We also claim that, through this power, families can be bound together for eternity when couples enter the new and everlasting covenant of marriage in sacred buildings that we believe are literally the houses of God….We believe that these distinguishing features can be found in no other place or organization on this earth. As good and sincere as other religions and churches are, none of them have the authority to provide the ordinances of salvation that are available in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

The fact that we have temples and that we are members of Christ’s church when we can take advantage of these saving ordinances is amazing!! When I honestly think about it, I wonder if there is a person on this planet who wouldn’t want to be part of an eternal family, including being sealed to a a loving father and mother, and having an eternal family of their own- with a loving companion and children. Is there anyone you know who wishes they could be alone forever? Or that doesn’t hope to find a companion that will stay by their side forever? The temple fulfills the longing of the human heart and helps us to reach our highest, divine potential. It points us and schools us in the kind of character that God has through sacred covenants, and brings peace, power and perspective in our lives.

In his talk, Elder Cook said:

“My challenge this morning is for each of us, wherever we live, to see ourselves in the temple. President Monson has stated: “Until you have entered the house of the Lord and have received all the blessings which await you there, you have not obtained everything the Church has to offer. The all-important and crowning blessings of membership in the Church are those blessings which we receive in the temples of God.”

He continues:

“It is our great desire that members of the Church will live to be worthy of a temple recommend. Please don’t see the temple as some distant and perhaps unachievable goal. Working with their bishop, most members can achieve all righteous requirements in a relatively short period of time if they have a determination to qualify and fully repent of transgressions. This includes being willing to forgive ourselves and not focus on our imperfections or sins as disqualifying us from ever entering a sacred temple.”

“Please know how earnestly we desire that everyone make any necessary changes to qualify for the temple. Prayerfully review where you are in your life, seek the guidance of the Spirit, and talk to your bishop about preparing yourself for the temple. President Thomas S. Monson has said, “There is no more important goal for you to work toward than being worthy to go to the temple.” Elder Cook

Our leaders are pleading with us to come to the temple. They know how good the blizzard is and they want us to enjoy it to!

I knew a mission president who, when asked how do you prepare to go to the temple? Said, “I pick up my bags, and I go.” In other words, he is always ready and worthy to go to the temple.

I would also like to extend that same invitation to you again today to prepare to go to the temple. And if you’re already temple worthy, think not just about yourself but those over whom you have a stewardship- whether Home and Visiting teaching or through other church callings. Think if there are those in your stewardship who have not yet or are not currently enjoying the blessings of the temple. How can you help them?

I challenge you to think about what it may be that is holding you or them back, and find a way to counsel with the Bishop. The Bishop is not just there to sit in judgment or to condemn you. He is your friend, he is a servant of the Lord, and here is there to gently help and guide you, if you want the help. He’s not scary. He doesn’t bite. J Sometimes the hardest part is just taking the first step. So determine that you will go and talk to the Bishop by a certain date. Then just do it. Or in the case of those in your stewardship- consider ways you can help point them to the temple- whether sharing the blessings and happiness you experience because of those covenants, helping them get to the temple if it’s been a long time, or supporting those who are struggling to overcome bad habits. The Lord will help us and pour out His power as we determine to get our lives in order to get to his house.

Blessings of the Temple

Next, I want to talk a little bit about why the temple that mean the most to me. Think for a minute what your life would be like without the temple. What is it about the temple that means the most to you?

Now this is going to get a little personal so I hope it doesn’t make any of you uncomfortable, but this is where the rubber hits the road for me, and where all of those ideal and fluffy things we talk about in church become a reality..

Last year, almost exactly one year ago, I was very pregnant and generally miserable Levi. I had Toxemia or preeclampsia, meaning that my blood pressure was sky high, and that my body generally  was not handling the pregnancy well. I went to the hospital every other day to be hooked up and monitored to determine how things were going with the baby. I went in that Monday morning for an NST and my blood pressure was very high. My doctor determined then that things with the pregnancy were getting too risky and it would be in the best interest of both me and the baby to be induced 3 weeks early. My mom had been pestering me non-stop about when the baby would come and was so happy to offer me advice and tell me how being a mother changed her life, how she couldn’t wait for me to be overcome for love for my little boy like she had been for us.

 So after the appointment I texted my mom. In my text I simply said, “Mom I just wanted you to know that we will be having a baby on Thursday!”. I never heard back from her, which I thought was strange.  Later that day I received a call that my mother had been found dead in her home. She had passed away earlier that day and never received my text.

When you receive a call like that, all of a sudden, it all really matters what you really believe. I had sung “Families can be together forever” from the time I was a young child, and remember feeling the spirit for the first time when singing that song in primary. I remember when my family and I sang “Teach me to walk in the Light” together in sacrament meeting, and knowing then that I would always have a family. I remember when my mom kneeled down with my dad in front of the Dallas Temple and looked into my 12 year old eyes and said, “I want you to know we will always be a family.” And I knew it was true. I felt it in my heart.  But what about now? What about when you get the call that your mom is gone. Was it really true? Would I really see her again? The power and perspective of the temple really matters the most when life gets really hard. And the hard questions come. I was so glad in that moment that I really knew that I would see my mom again. I had both the power, peace and perspective I needed at the moment of crisis.

My testimony of the temple and eternal families has meant more to me this year than ever before in my life. That belief and knowledge that I have that she still lives, and that Heavenly Father can heal all heart breaks and wounds from this life, is what sustains me day to day. It means everything to me.

Recently a friend suggested to me that others were worried about me- worried that I wasn’t handling my mom’s death well and that I was probably on the verge of a breakdown. I remember feeling strange that others would think that way about me because I certainly do not feel that way. I’m certainly not perfect and I definitely have my moments of hardship. But I don’t feel hopeless, or depressed or angry. Why? Because of the strength and peace and perspective the gospel brings and because of my temple covenants. Temple covenants literally have given me the strength to endure.  I can honestly say that the peace, power and perspective that the temple covenants bring have guided my thoughts and footsteps every day since that tragedy. There is also great sadness as I mourn the loss of my mom, but there is not fear or anger or depression, at least not that lasts long. In fact, there has been so much happiness this last year, despite this great tragedy.

I recently petitioned the First Presidency on behalf of my mother to be rebatized into the church. It was the last thing she wrote before she died, “Nicole please do my temple work for me.”

As I’ve humbly sought answers and gone to the Lord and our Stake President for counsel, and gone through the process of requesting permission to do her ordinances, I have found peace in the temple covenants we have made as a family. I know that even though I don’t understand how everything will work out in the end, that it will.  That I am sealed to an eternal family. And I know because I entered a temple of God with Michael that I have my own eternal family as well, and will have an eternal companion by my side always. I know because we were sealed there that my baby boy Levi will be mine forever, if I live worthy. And those promises and those relationships mean everything to me.

The temple is the one place on this earth where eternal families are made. And it is the only place on this earth where all the ordinances of salvation can be found. There is so much more to this church than just church on Sunday! The temple is the great symbol of our membership. There is nothing in the world more important than getting our lives in order to be able to qualify for those blessings. I can’t imagine how unbearably difficult the loss of a loved one or family member would be without the peace and power that comes from knowing I have made eternal covenants that mean I will see them again, and that they will always be part of my family.

I never want to be found unprepared to go to the temple or left outside the door and locked out of all the wonderful blessings that the Lord has to offer! He has offered us so much- we just have to decide that we want it, and He will send legions of angels- both here and from the other side- to help us get it.

I know these things are true. I know the temple is the House of the Lord. I know the most important thing we could do in our lives is qualify to be there, and help those around us do the same.