- Stupid rabbit poop all over the front lawn so the baby is always shoving it in her mouth!
- Stupid cat poop in the lawn and in the dirt all the time so buddy can never have a sand box without digging out cat poop!!
- Poor soil quality for growing trees
- Hard digging
- Stupid Wind!!
- Stupid windows and blinds
- doorknobs always coming loose
- lame electrical wiring
- Dumb light fixture lights
- Stained carpet
- Stupid bottom of the fridge always coming undone
- Cheap laminate wood flooring
- The fireplace can't run at the same time as the TV
- THE WIND!!!
- Big rigs up and down the street and constant drilling nearby
- Renters
- Sketchy neighbors
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Reasons I'm glad to leave Duchesne
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Getting Alida to Sleep
Well life has gotten significantly better since my last post!
Alida is now 4.5 months old, sleeping through the night, and almost on a daily napping schedule. When she turned 4 months old and we went to her well-child check up, once again I vented to Dr. Staker about how hard it was! Last time at her 2 month check up she was fussy all the time and he helped me figure out she was just hungry! We started giving her supplementary bottles but ultimately I figured out it was the nipple shield I was using to help her latch that was interfering with my supply. So we stopped using that and things normalized out again. But still, she would wake up every 2 hours at night to nurse, and want to nurse every hour to 1.5 hours during the day and I was just getting worn out!
Well, Dr. Staker did what he does so well and gave me a simple solution- or rather permission to do what I'd been wanting to do but felt shamed to by all the attachment parenting articles about the harm of letting your baby cry. He told me she is definitely old enough now to make it through the whole night without feeding, her body is just in the habit of being fed at those times so we just need to break the habit. He said it will be hard and she'll cry maybe even for up to an hour. But that eventually she would learn how to put herself to sleep without nursing and her body would reset to allow her to sleep through the night. He said it would take about 3-5 days. But what is 3-5 days compared to the chaos that my life has been getting up every 2 hours every night?! I felt so relieved to finally have permission to influence the situation. And I trust him. I trust the pediatric doctor with years and years of experience over all of the crazy mommy wars that make you feel ashamed for EVERYTHING!
So we did it. After Grandma Schoening left (more about that later) we moved her into her own room, and let her cry out each of her feedings, one at a time. First the 12:30am feeding- and she cried for a good while, probably 45 minutes. You definitely don't get any sleep while you wait for your baby to stop crying. What an awful, stressful time. But she finally did go to sleep again, and I fed her again at 5:30am. The next night we she acatually slept through the 12:30am feeding time all the way til 2:30, but then let her cry it out for that one. Again another 45 minutes or so, but eventually went to sleep again. The next night she slept from 8pm all the way until 5:30am. It was a miracle!! And it worked just as Dr. Staker suggested. I decided to enjoy the new found sleep for a few days to make sure the habit stuck before weaning her off her last early feeding. So I tried to get her to sleep through her 5:30am feeding, but I realized that just might be too long. She goes to bed now between 7 and 8pm and 12 hours might just be too long for her and me to go without feeding for my milk supply. So I've decided to compromise and get up early and feed her at 6am and nurse her back to sleep and then she'll usually sleep til 8. And I'm pretty happy with those results. Going from waking up every 2-3 hours and no real routine, to now sleeping all the way through the night consistently is a miracle for me. Now I'm just trying to figure out a reasonable nap schedule for her because she wakes up early from naps too (like after 30 minutes) even when she's still tired. So I think I'll have her take a nap at 11am and again at 2pm, and let her cry it out if she needs to. Because ultimately, she needs sleep and I know she feels so much better when she does sleep. She just needs help figuring out how to do it.
I though that I would be a totally crunch attachment parenting mamma because of my studies and experience with attachment disorder. But I think I've decided that the attachment parenting movement is a little too extreme. The underlying premise is that the baby knows best what he/she needs, and we as parents need to follow their lead. Well I just don't believe that. I believe that kids need gentle guidance. It's a combination of both guidance and knowing what to expect, and enough room to allow them to express their autonomy as well. But infants do NOT know how to organize their sleep on their own. Yes, the learn eventually, but there is no harm in helping them. And there is a LOT of worse things in the world than a baby crying. I don't believe the experience elevated cortisol levels and feel abandoned and give up on the idea that someone will help when they live in a home surrounded by loving parents that take care of them all day. In an abusive home or situation? Sure, this could be the case. But I know my daughter still knows I love her, even if she has to cry sometimes. And ultimately, my (and her) health and safety is on the line when I feel so sleep deprived and desperate that I can't hold it together to take care of her right. I don't think there's any amount of baby crying that can equal in gravity the sanity of a mother struggling to survive. There are worse things than crying. I will say that over and over and over again. I am a believer in sleep training and believe the short-term grief of them crying for a day or two is FAR outweighed by the benefit to both them and me of having full and restful sleep. Alida is a MUCH happier baby now that she sleeps through the night. We both feel rested and happy when we wake up and that's a formula for a good life.
Anyway, who ever knew that my life would revolve around a baby's sleep habits. But that has truly been my whole world. Chaos. Finally we have some sanity in the house.
Other areas of child development that we still haven't figured out- getting Levi to eat healthy meals and not just milk and sweets. I think I need to read more and figure out my philosophy about this, but I think ultimately it's going to go like this. You have to eat what's at the table when it's served to you or there's nothing else. Unfortunately he's too young to understand this right now so I think I'm going to wait a little bit longer on that. I think we're going to feed Alida JUST vegetables the first year of life so he has an actual chance at not getting diabetes at age 8. I think it might already be too late for Levi. He's our burnt pancake. He got sugar way too young and now that's all the wants. But he does sleep like a champ. He was sleeping through the night at like 6 weeks, and he still takes a 2-3 hour nap every day at the same time. I love it. He made me think I was a good parent but turns out he was just an easy child. Ha :)
Ok so some highlights since March that I'll write about in other posts:
Alida is now 4.5 months old, sleeping through the night, and almost on a daily napping schedule. When she turned 4 months old and we went to her well-child check up, once again I vented to Dr. Staker about how hard it was! Last time at her 2 month check up she was fussy all the time and he helped me figure out she was just hungry! We started giving her supplementary bottles but ultimately I figured out it was the nipple shield I was using to help her latch that was interfering with my supply. So we stopped using that and things normalized out again. But still, she would wake up every 2 hours at night to nurse, and want to nurse every hour to 1.5 hours during the day and I was just getting worn out!
Well, Dr. Staker did what he does so well and gave me a simple solution- or rather permission to do what I'd been wanting to do but felt shamed to by all the attachment parenting articles about the harm of letting your baby cry. He told me she is definitely old enough now to make it through the whole night without feeding, her body is just in the habit of being fed at those times so we just need to break the habit. He said it will be hard and she'll cry maybe even for up to an hour. But that eventually she would learn how to put herself to sleep without nursing and her body would reset to allow her to sleep through the night. He said it would take about 3-5 days. But what is 3-5 days compared to the chaos that my life has been getting up every 2 hours every night?! I felt so relieved to finally have permission to influence the situation. And I trust him. I trust the pediatric doctor with years and years of experience over all of the crazy mommy wars that make you feel ashamed for EVERYTHING!
So we did it. After Grandma Schoening left (more about that later) we moved her into her own room, and let her cry out each of her feedings, one at a time. First the 12:30am feeding- and she cried for a good while, probably 45 minutes. You definitely don't get any sleep while you wait for your baby to stop crying. What an awful, stressful time. But she finally did go to sleep again, and I fed her again at 5:30am. The next night we she acatually slept through the 12:30am feeding time all the way til 2:30, but then let her cry it out for that one. Again another 45 minutes or so, but eventually went to sleep again. The next night she slept from 8pm all the way until 5:30am. It was a miracle!! And it worked just as Dr. Staker suggested. I decided to enjoy the new found sleep for a few days to make sure the habit stuck before weaning her off her last early feeding. So I tried to get her to sleep through her 5:30am feeding, but I realized that just might be too long. She goes to bed now between 7 and 8pm and 12 hours might just be too long for her and me to go without feeding for my milk supply. So I've decided to compromise and get up early and feed her at 6am and nurse her back to sleep and then she'll usually sleep til 8. And I'm pretty happy with those results. Going from waking up every 2-3 hours and no real routine, to now sleeping all the way through the night consistently is a miracle for me. Now I'm just trying to figure out a reasonable nap schedule for her because she wakes up early from naps too (like after 30 minutes) even when she's still tired. So I think I'll have her take a nap at 11am and again at 2pm, and let her cry it out if she needs to. Because ultimately, she needs sleep and I know she feels so much better when she does sleep. She just needs help figuring out how to do it.
I though that I would be a totally crunch attachment parenting mamma because of my studies and experience with attachment disorder. But I think I've decided that the attachment parenting movement is a little too extreme. The underlying premise is that the baby knows best what he/she needs, and we as parents need to follow their lead. Well I just don't believe that. I believe that kids need gentle guidance. It's a combination of both guidance and knowing what to expect, and enough room to allow them to express their autonomy as well. But infants do NOT know how to organize their sleep on their own. Yes, the learn eventually, but there is no harm in helping them. And there is a LOT of worse things in the world than a baby crying. I don't believe the experience elevated cortisol levels and feel abandoned and give up on the idea that someone will help when they live in a home surrounded by loving parents that take care of them all day. In an abusive home or situation? Sure, this could be the case. But I know my daughter still knows I love her, even if she has to cry sometimes. And ultimately, my (and her) health and safety is on the line when I feel so sleep deprived and desperate that I can't hold it together to take care of her right. I don't think there's any amount of baby crying that can equal in gravity the sanity of a mother struggling to survive. There are worse things than crying. I will say that over and over and over again. I am a believer in sleep training and believe the short-term grief of them crying for a day or two is FAR outweighed by the benefit to both them and me of having full and restful sleep. Alida is a MUCH happier baby now that she sleeps through the night. We both feel rested and happy when we wake up and that's a formula for a good life.
Anyway, who ever knew that my life would revolve around a baby's sleep habits. But that has truly been my whole world. Chaos. Finally we have some sanity in the house.
Other areas of child development that we still haven't figured out- getting Levi to eat healthy meals and not just milk and sweets. I think I need to read more and figure out my philosophy about this, but I think ultimately it's going to go like this. You have to eat what's at the table when it's served to you or there's nothing else. Unfortunately he's too young to understand this right now so I think I'm going to wait a little bit longer on that. I think we're going to feed Alida JUST vegetables the first year of life so he has an actual chance at not getting diabetes at age 8. I think it might already be too late for Levi. He's our burnt pancake. He got sugar way too young and now that's all the wants. But he does sleep like a champ. He was sleeping through the night at like 6 weeks, and he still takes a 2-3 hour nap every day at the same time. I love it. He made me think I was a good parent but turns out he was just an easy child. Ha :)
Ok so some highlights since March that I'll write about in other posts:
- Homesteading nights on Beekeeping by me, and Goats/Raw Milk by April Bird
- Michael's 37th birthday
- March- the month of milk chocolate and coming of spring!
- We re-started out chicken flock with 12 new chicks- 2 Buff Orpington's, 1 Barred Rock, 1 Mystery chick that was supposed to be a Barred Rock that turned out to be a rooster :/, 1 Black laced Wyondotte, 2 Rhode Island Reds, 1 Well-Summer, and 4 Americaunas, the Easter Egg laying breed. It will be fun to have brown and green eggs!
- We ordered honey bees and decided to foray into that
- We decided to get baby goats- we have 2 Nigerian Dwarf does coming to us at the end of the month
- This year we had record snow fall and got stuck in our own driveway several times because of the depth of the snow drifts. So the warming of the March weather meant even more
- We decided to fly Grandma Schoening out for a week to get to know her great grandchildren and especially Alida, whom we named after her (Antonia Alida Hartman)
- We spent a week in Bicknell for Spring Roundup but Michael stayed home to help his dad on the farm instead of going to the Henry mountains because he recently had carpal tunnel surgery on his hand and needed help changing sprinklers while everyone else was gone.
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Grandma Schoening's Visit to Duchesne
- Waiting until Spring (end of April) to fly her out so it would be warm, but it was the coldest weather we had yet! Snow storms and freezing temps! But that didn't keep her from her walks most days. Also bundled up the kids and took them.
- Lots of time talking, lots of good stories
- She loved our homestead with all the animals
- "With all your schooling and education, I never would have guessed you'd turn out to be a farmer"
- She loves Michael and they agree on the same things politically. She thinks he's a great man.
- Levi loved her and warmed up quickly- grandma has a way with little kids.
- Went to see Arthur and Sylvia on the way out to the airport, and left some flowers on mom's grave
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
March Madness
Maybe the fact that there is no February post will clue you into to the chaos that has been my life the last 3 months. I feel like when people say that motherhood is the hardest thing they have ever done, this is what they are talking about. Alida has been a hard baby. I've come to the end of my rope several times. I never even knew that existed. I've literally been at a breaking point several times. I've never been so exhausted, so frustrated, feeling so unable to do even the smallest tasks.
Between Alida's collic, not getting enough to eat, having to sleep on me, not being able to put her down without crying, not sleeping through the night, eating every 2 hours, wanting to be latched on all the time, I am just worn out.
Today I put Levi down for a nap and go Alida asleep in her swing at the same time. Sometimes she'll sleep for a few hours in the early morning (from 9am-12pm) but she didn't this morning so I thought for sure she'd sleep this afternoon. As soon as I put them down, the first thing I think of is all of the things I need to do. Dishes, the kitchen's a mess, the house is a mess, I should probably shower and put clean clothes on and start getting dinner ready, etc. etc. But lately I've really been thinking about how I want and NEED the Spirit in my life more to have the patience and strength I need to take care of these kids. So I decide I need to put the Lord first and finally call my visiting teachees like I've been meaning/wanting to do for weeks. So I call Shawna Mounteer, but both of the numbers I have for her are out of order. I worry a little bit because they are definitely a high need family and I haven't heard from her in a month or so. So I decide to run up there (they live just up the street) and say hi for a second while the kids are asleep.
We have a monitor in Levi's room so I can watch him on my phone and see that he's playing with his blanket and messing around, but I'm not worried about that: he's contained. I'm listening to hear if Alida is crying, and figure at the very least she'll be asleep for 30 minutes and I won't be gone any longer than that.
Well I get up to the Mounteers, my dear friends, and see them for the first time in months! I see that Ray has a motorized wheelchair to help him get around until he gets his back surgery, thank goodness. Some members of the ward built a little ramp for him to get in and out of his house too, he's scheduled for surgery and so is he, and she's been keeping herself busy by drawing out kids nursery rhymes for her grandkids. It was SO good to visit with them. But I was there for no longer than 10 minutes when I can hear on the monitor that Alida is crying. AHHHH! SO frustrating!! I spent all freaking morning just trying to get her to sleep, only to have her wake up 20 minutes later! It drives me crazy that she won't sleep without me holding her or being latched on!
So I tell the Mounteers that I need to go, and drive furiously home, seething the whole time that I can't even have 30 freaking minutes to do what I need to without having to take care of this stinking baby!! Babies are supposed to sleep 18 hours a day but I swear she's awake like 27 hours a day!
I get home and Michael has woken up to take care of the baby and get Levi out of his crib and I just feel so defeated. I'm so frustrated that Michael was woken up from his sleep, and so mad that I don't have any time to do anything for myself, even to serve the Lord. I don't know how to survive without time to read my scriptures or pray, and serve in my calling, but it seems like if I have ANYTHING to do or planned other than taking care of kids, my whole day ends in frustration. It's like I literally can't do anything else. And I just kind of broke down. How can I qualify for the Spirit if I can't even do the most basic fundamentals of faith. And how will I teach this coming Sunday if I can't prepare and qualify for the Spirit? And how will I keep from being mad and yelling at my kids and resenting my baby if I don't have the Spirit?!
I was just so frustrated and angry. Michael was concerned and we said a prayer together and read scriptures. Then he gave Levi, Alida and me a blessing. He blessed me that I would have peace and calm in my soul. That the Lord would strengthen my back to be able to bear the burdens that are upon them. He blessed me to be able to have better insights into how to raise these children, and to know that the Lord loves me and is aware of my struggle right now. It was just what I needed. It seems like Michael rescues me just when I am about to fall apart. He just knows how to save me.
Well I was able to get dinner together and clean off my disgusting stove. Still no shower or laundry or picking up. But Michael played with Levi for the rest of the afternoon and watched Alida with such loving and tender care. It made me think I hope that little baby knows I love her and doesn't feel like I resent her- because I've spent a lot of time feeling that way toward her. I hope it gets easier soon and she sleeps more and needs to be held less. But I need to figure out how to love and cherish her the way I did Levi when he was small, so she knows her mom loves her and doesn't just see her as a burden.
Levi fell asleep on the floor soon after Michael left because he hadn't had a nap. And he slept the rest of the night, which really helped. But although Alida was exhausted, it still took me until 9pm to finally get her to sleep. She sleeps fine when she's latched on, but I just cannot have her attached to me literally all the time. I have to get up and walk around and PEE for heaven's sake without her. Anyway, she finally went to sleep and now here I am writing in my journal, which I'll probably regret when she wakes up later and I don't get enough sleep. Sometimes writing things out helps me to cope though.
So it's been a heck of a couple of months. People are so kind and want to help, but who can nurse her in my place? And who could I call at 2am when I'm exhausted and just want to sleep but Alida won't go to sleep? It's unavoidably my responsibility. So I just need some more strength to figure out how to do it.
I really really really hope she starts sleeping longer than 3 hours at night soon. And I hope she'll be content without me holding her all the time. But I also sure hope I don't cause her the same kind of attachment disorder I had because I was a needy baby and my mom couldn't take care of all my needs. I have so much more sympathy for my poor mom now. Having tiny kids close together is hard. No wonder she had a nervous breakdown. No wonder she let me just cry in my room at times. No wonder she felt like she couldn't take care of me. I understand. It is so freaking hard.
Between Alida's collic, not getting enough to eat, having to sleep on me, not being able to put her down without crying, not sleeping through the night, eating every 2 hours, wanting to be latched on all the time, I am just worn out.
Today I put Levi down for a nap and go Alida asleep in her swing at the same time. Sometimes she'll sleep for a few hours in the early morning (from 9am-12pm) but she didn't this morning so I thought for sure she'd sleep this afternoon. As soon as I put them down, the first thing I think of is all of the things I need to do. Dishes, the kitchen's a mess, the house is a mess, I should probably shower and put clean clothes on and start getting dinner ready, etc. etc. But lately I've really been thinking about how I want and NEED the Spirit in my life more to have the patience and strength I need to take care of these kids. So I decide I need to put the Lord first and finally call my visiting teachees like I've been meaning/wanting to do for weeks. So I call Shawna Mounteer, but both of the numbers I have for her are out of order. I worry a little bit because they are definitely a high need family and I haven't heard from her in a month or so. So I decide to run up there (they live just up the street) and say hi for a second while the kids are asleep.
We have a monitor in Levi's room so I can watch him on my phone and see that he's playing with his blanket and messing around, but I'm not worried about that: he's contained. I'm listening to hear if Alida is crying, and figure at the very least she'll be asleep for 30 minutes and I won't be gone any longer than that.
Well I get up to the Mounteers, my dear friends, and see them for the first time in months! I see that Ray has a motorized wheelchair to help him get around until he gets his back surgery, thank goodness. Some members of the ward built a little ramp for him to get in and out of his house too, he's scheduled for surgery and so is he, and she's been keeping herself busy by drawing out kids nursery rhymes for her grandkids. It was SO good to visit with them. But I was there for no longer than 10 minutes when I can hear on the monitor that Alida is crying. AHHHH! SO frustrating!! I spent all freaking morning just trying to get her to sleep, only to have her wake up 20 minutes later! It drives me crazy that she won't sleep without me holding her or being latched on!
So I tell the Mounteers that I need to go, and drive furiously home, seething the whole time that I can't even have 30 freaking minutes to do what I need to without having to take care of this stinking baby!! Babies are supposed to sleep 18 hours a day but I swear she's awake like 27 hours a day!
I get home and Michael has woken up to take care of the baby and get Levi out of his crib and I just feel so defeated. I'm so frustrated that Michael was woken up from his sleep, and so mad that I don't have any time to do anything for myself, even to serve the Lord. I don't know how to survive without time to read my scriptures or pray, and serve in my calling, but it seems like if I have ANYTHING to do or planned other than taking care of kids, my whole day ends in frustration. It's like I literally can't do anything else. And I just kind of broke down. How can I qualify for the Spirit if I can't even do the most basic fundamentals of faith. And how will I teach this coming Sunday if I can't prepare and qualify for the Spirit? And how will I keep from being mad and yelling at my kids and resenting my baby if I don't have the Spirit?!
I was just so frustrated and angry. Michael was concerned and we said a prayer together and read scriptures. Then he gave Levi, Alida and me a blessing. He blessed me that I would have peace and calm in my soul. That the Lord would strengthen my back to be able to bear the burdens that are upon them. He blessed me to be able to have better insights into how to raise these children, and to know that the Lord loves me and is aware of my struggle right now. It was just what I needed. It seems like Michael rescues me just when I am about to fall apart. He just knows how to save me.
Well I was able to get dinner together and clean off my disgusting stove. Still no shower or laundry or picking up. But Michael played with Levi for the rest of the afternoon and watched Alida with such loving and tender care. It made me think I hope that little baby knows I love her and doesn't feel like I resent her- because I've spent a lot of time feeling that way toward her. I hope it gets easier soon and she sleeps more and needs to be held less. But I need to figure out how to love and cherish her the way I did Levi when he was small, so she knows her mom loves her and doesn't just see her as a burden.
Levi fell asleep on the floor soon after Michael left because he hadn't had a nap. And he slept the rest of the night, which really helped. But although Alida was exhausted, it still took me until 9pm to finally get her to sleep. She sleeps fine when she's latched on, but I just cannot have her attached to me literally all the time. I have to get up and walk around and PEE for heaven's sake without her. Anyway, she finally went to sleep and now here I am writing in my journal, which I'll probably regret when she wakes up later and I don't get enough sleep. Sometimes writing things out helps me to cope though.
So it's been a heck of a couple of months. People are so kind and want to help, but who can nurse her in my place? And who could I call at 2am when I'm exhausted and just want to sleep but Alida won't go to sleep? It's unavoidably my responsibility. So I just need some more strength to figure out how to do it.
I really really really hope she starts sleeping longer than 3 hours at night soon. And I hope she'll be content without me holding her all the time. But I also sure hope I don't cause her the same kind of attachment disorder I had because I was a needy baby and my mom couldn't take care of all my needs. I have so much more sympathy for my poor mom now. Having tiny kids close together is hard. No wonder she had a nervous breakdown. No wonder she let me just cry in my room at times. No wonder she felt like she couldn't take care of me. I understand. It is so freaking hard.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Alida's Birth Story
Even in the very moment of having a child, I'm thinking about how I will remember such an important event. I want to savor every moment, every second, and remember the details because I know I will look back on it for the rest of my life. I wish there was some way to record these significant events that didn't take so much time! Time is not a luxury I have much of these days. But Alida is napping between feedings and Levi is down for bed for the night, so tonight, 3 weeks after the fact, is the magical night to re-tell Alida's birth story.
First, I have to tell you from the very beginning when we found out we were pregnant and that our due date was January 18th, Michael started saying, "Maybe she'll come early and we won't have to pay another deductible, she'll just be covered! And we'll get another tax deduction for the year!" So he always said that she'd come early, more as a joke than anything, but Dec. 29th was the day that he chose as her "new" due date. I had to fiercely fight these thoughts because the last month of pregnancy is already hard enough. I knew I really needed to hunker down and settle in for the long haul after the holidays.
Michael had to work Christmas day, but had the 3 days after, the 26th, 27th and 28th off of work. So we decided to celebrate on those days. His parents also decided to come up on the 26th and 27th so that I wouldn't have to travel so far away from my doctor and hospital when I was so pregnant. We had a great Christmas with them, and enjoyed a little family time on the 28th, Wednesday. Wednesday night was the first day after the holiday rush for Michael and I to sit down and really talk about our birth plan. Who would watch Levi, what days he would take off of work, etc. We were also juggling logistics of Grandpa Kay's funeral on the 7th, including having dad, David and Jonathan fly in to town and staying with us. So we ironed out the days he would take off, who we would ask to watch Levi while we were in the hospital, etc. I remember making a note that night that I still needed to pack my hospital bag. Oh, also, Michael had taken it upon himself to get out the baby swing and all of the bouncers the week before Christmas, just in case. I would just roll my eyes and be bugged because they took up so much room and I knew they could just be put up where the Christmas trees were once they were taken down. I hate that he ended up being right about that! Ha!
Anyway, we had just turned out the light to go to bed and I was gearing up for my day of travel the next day- I was planning to go to Costco to pick up the second half of my picture Christmas cards and order contacts to use my vision benefit for the year. I had been waiting to do this all month so was anxious to get on it. I also was thinking about my visiting teaching ladies, and how I needed to see them this week and bring them some Christmas cheer. As I was mentally winding down I started feeling contractions. This had happened before so I didn't think much of it, and I thought if it was anything, it would wake me up from sleep so I might as well go to sleep.
Well, there was no sleep to be had. Michael had rolled over and dozed off almost immediately but my contractions were coming pretty regularly and were a little painful. They started at 11pm and about midnight I turned the light back on and woke up Michael and told him I was having contractions and he might want to keep track. In his sleepy stupor he agreed and then went back to sleep. I tried to wake him at the beginning of a couple of contractions, but it was obvious to me that he was really tired, and if it really was labor, there was no sense in both of us being sleep deprived. I'd go out on the couch and keep track of the contractions and come and wake him up if we needed to go to the hospital.
So about midnight I'm out on the couch, with my "Preparing for Childbirth" booklet the hospital gave me, keeping time of when the contractions start and how long they last. I was SO tired so I really tried to fall asleep, but the more I kept time, the more I realized, there would be no sleep that night. They started out about 7 or 8 minutes apart, but then some started coming closer. After a solid hour of tracking and realizing these were consistent contractions, I decided to call the OB department in the hospital and ask for advice on whether or not to come in. On the one hand I didn't want to go and be turned away, after all I was still 3 weeks early, and we had JUST gone to see Dr. Nolte earlier that day and things seemed fine (in the Bio physical profile she was weighing in at 7.5 lbs and I was dilated to a 4, which I thought was a lot but the Dr. didn't seem to think was too big of a deal). In fact we had just scheduled that morning for her to be induced on Jan. 10th, so that we wouldn't have her on my birthday. Ha!
So I called the nurses in the Labor and Delivery area and told them that I had been having consistent contractions for the last hour, and should I come in. The nurse said it would probably be a good idea. I asked if I should stay at home and labor a little longer, but she asked if I was Strep B positive. I responded that I was and she said in that case I better come in for sure because I would need to be on antibiotics for at least 4.5 hours before birth if I was in labor so they better get started. So I hung up the phone (I was in the closet trying so hard to be quiet and not wake anyone up) resigned to the fact that I was in fact in labor and I was going to have to go to the hospital in the middle of the freaking night and wake people up to come and be with Levi!
I came out of the bathroom and woke up Michael and said I think we better go to the hospital. He started to get ready and I started to try to call Teressa Guest. I had arranged with her beforehand to keep her phone on at night so in the off chance I went into labor in the middle of the night she would come over and stay the night at the house with Levi. Well I called- no answer. Called again, no answer. Sent a text. I know how hard it is to wake up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night. So I call again and again and again and again. After 15 times I realize there's no waking this lady. So I call the one person I know will be up in the middle of the night- Susan Rowser. I say, "Hey, are you by chance still up?" She immediately texts back and says, "Yup, what's up?". I told her I was in labor and needed to go to the hospital and asked if she could come stay with Levi. She immediately agreed and said she'd be right over. What a life saver!!
And she did, she showed up just 15 minutes later, and we were out the door to the hospital at 2am. I had time to pack my bag and get ready so that was good, but on the way to the hospital the contractions started coming closer, like every 2-3 minutes. Probably because I was rushing around being frantic before. I started to worry that I might have a baby in the car! Michael was going like 80 mph and I just knew it would be the one time we'd get a speeding ticket. Side note- I've never been more grateful for seat warmers in my life! They were worth every penny we paid to have those suckers in there while I was having my contractions every 3 minutes. So comforting!
We made it to the ER and got checked in to the OB department right at 3am. I told them how fast Levi came and the nurse checked to see if I was dilated. I was already at a 5, so she called Dr. Nolte on whether to start the antibiotics. He said to get started so she hooked me up to an IV and I knew we were in business.
Ironically, once we got to the hospital, my contractions slowed down quite a bit. It was like I relaxed and so did the baby. But I still was having steady, but manageable contractions. Mostly I would just have to wait for a minute for it to pass, but the pain was definitely manageable. The nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural and I told her the pain was manageable right now, so no. But she said to be aware that it would take some time to call an anesthesiologist and wake them up and get them out of bed and over to the hospital so I should decide soon. I felt bad for both Dr. Nolte and the anesthetist so I was kind of hoping things would hold off until at least 6am so they could get a little sleep. Someone might as well! I told her I'd decide later.
By 5am I had only dilated to a 5, so we decided to go on a walk to see if we could get things going again. Well that definitely worked! As we were walking down the halls, I'd have to stop every few minutes and lean on the wall to wait for the contractions to pass. We walked and talked for about 15 minutes but by the end of the walk the contractions were starting to get REAL. I mean I started to remember what that pain was like and decided we better get back and wake up the anesthesiologist before it was too late like last time, and I'd lose my mind. So we got back to the OB department and immediately told the nurse to order the epidural. Got back to my room and all hooked up again and Michael again asked the nurse to get the guy on his way. Apparently he remembered last time too. Ha! I settled into my bed and just started concentrating on breathing.
They checked me again and I was at a 6cm, so the contractions were doing some good. I was squeezing the life out of Michael's hand every contraction and really hoping the pain relief would come soon. Well it did, and he was in my room by 6am. He administered the epidural and it was like sweet sanity returned to my mind and body. Oh the blessed relief. So nice. Not so nice side effect- having no control over my legs or lower body. Oh well, at least I didn't have to feel the contractions anymore.
I think I was so relieved again that my body just kind of kicked back too. I actually went to sleep for a couple of hours which was heavenly. It gave me some much needed rest and then the Dr. wasn't having to come in the middle of the night.
Dr. Nolte showed up about 8am and was like, "Didn't I just see you yesterday?". Ha! I like that guy. I like his sense of humor and feel really comfortable around him. He broke my water to get labor started again, and we were in business. Went from a 6 to a 7cm by 9am and a 7 to a 9 by 10am. I was kind of starting to feel the contractions again through the epidural around 9:30 but I had this nifty little button I could push to administer more medicine through the epidural. At first I thought I'd be tough and not do it, but after like 2 or 3 of those suckers I was done being tough. I'm pretty sure I pushed that button like 4 times in 15 minutes. Those must have been some strong contractions to get through that epidural!
At 10:15am Dr. Nolte made the executive command and everyone started readying the room for birth. The broke down the bed and put all these landing pads out, got out the heavy duty bowls to put the stuff in I guess, and the overhead headlights came on.This was it! Then the blankets came off and I was reminded how everyone and their dog gets to see you in your full glory except for you. And also, my legs didn't work so they were flopping around everywhere like a dead whale. Wonderful. One of the CNAs was holding my left leg, but I asked Michael if he would, and then he could see the birth too. I didn't know at the time that they have mirrors so that you can see the birth. If I knew that I would have asked because I'd rally like to see the crowning of a child sometime. And since I was numb and couldn't really feel anything, I think that would help restore some sense of awareness.
Which reminds me, I really disliked the numbness in the lower half of my body. I started to feel really heavy and uncomfortable, but around 10am things must have been wearing off a little bit because I had control of my right leg and that helped out a lot. I really disliked not having any control over my body.
Anyway, Dr. Nolte said, we're going to have you push during contractions so you tell me when that is and we'll have you push. Because of the medicine I didn't really know exactly when they began and ended so I kind of just guessed. The nurse would say push and then count to 10 while I pushed. Then I'd rest for a couple of seconds and we'd do it again- pushing for 10, and then again a 3rd time. Then the contraction would be over and we'd wait for the next one.
After doing this twice, Dr. Nolte asked if my other kid had dark hair, and I said, No, why? Does this one? He said, she sure does! I was shocked! Dark hair?! Where did that come from? And then it hit me like a ton of bricks- from my mom. From Margaret. It actually made me a little teary eyed. This child would have some characteristics of my mom. And that solidified it for me. Her middle name would be Margaret.
The next contraction came and again I pushed hard. Dr. Nolte had to maneuver her shoulders a little bit and I felt my body moving around but just like that, a baby came out. They took her right out and put her on my belly, all covered in the white stuff and that was that. I had a daughter. Welcome Alida Margaret Brinkerhoff. She looked so...strange to me though. Not like someone I was related to. I didn't think she looked like Levi either. It was puzzling to me. I was trying to figure out who she looked like. She definitely didn't have the Brinkerhoff pudgy toes- she had long delicate fingers and long long toes- I guess that's from me. She had a dimple in her chin and chubby little cheeks- that's from the Brinkerhoff side. And then of course the dark hair from Mom. Other than that, I felt like we'd need to wait and see what look she'd grow in to.
All the medical staff proceeded to do their stuff, and I just layed there with a little white slimy baby on my belly. She was born at 10:35am, like Levi's 10:35pm. I held her for 2 hours skin to skin while Dr. Nolte stitched me up and everyone cleaned everything else up. I wanted Michael to be able to hold her but the told me to keep her on me for at least 2 hours. I tried to get her to latch, and she licked and bobbed and showed interest, but no latching. I was ok with that for the moment and didn't want to have to start stressing about anything else yet. I was just so glad she was here and we were done.
After our skin to skin time, the nurses took her to clean her up, weigh and do some testing. Michael and I took advantage of the time and rested for a couple of hours after lunch. Michael had arranged for Susan Lupold to take Levi from Susan Rowser for the day and decided to go back to Duchesne and get him and stay the night at home. I was kind of glad to have some one on one time with the baby, and I knew Michael was exhausted as well and would need a good night's sleep. He told me he went to bed about 7pm with Levi in the bed awake, but eventually he fell asleep too. Ha, my cute boys.
Kim Wilson decided to come out that night and see the baby, all the way from Herriman, but she didn't get there until 7:30pm that night. She ended up spending the night and it was nice to just talk and have some company. We got ready to go to bed around 10pm, but little miss decided it was time to be awake. I ended up awake with her until about midnight, and tried to feed, but to no avail. I was so tired, I finally decided to take her to the nursery about 12:30am, but then woke up at 2am to get her and bring her back in the room. I started remembering that my last night of full sleep was probably 2 days ago.
Kim got up to drive home at 5 am and I got up as well. I asked the nurses if I could use a pump and started to pump some colostrum to give to baby girl in hopes to avoid jaundice and get my milk supply going. I was happy to be able to pump a little bit and feed it to her through a syringe. I asked about a lactation consultant, but as it was a holiday weekend (New Year's), no one was on staff, so I was again stuck trying to figure things out on my own. I did remember that my milk wouldn't come in for a couple of days though, so I decided not to worry, and just pump what I could. The pediatrician came in to see her and said everything looked great, just a little bruising on her face from delivery, but she had a 9.9 Apgar score and was doing just fine. They had to keep poking her heel every 4 hours to test for low blood sugar but she passed all of those tests. Later that day Michael came with Levi to do the grand introduction and Pam came as well.
Levi wasn't too impressed. He had just woken up from a nap so he was grumpy, but he did seem a little intrigued. He wasn't too patient being in the hospital though, so they just stayed an hour and went home. The hospital also has a strict policy about little kids, only being allowed to visit for 1 hour to prevent RSV. But that was enough time.
After they went home Joyce and Riley came to visit, along with Katie Pack who was working that day. It was really nice to visit with Joyce. It's easy to have good conversation with her. After Joyce went home, I got to just rest and enjoy the endless supply of food- which was good because I was STARVING! I felt like I could eat a whale! I seriously don't remember being so hungry in my life!! Every meal I would go to the cafeteria and get seconds, and snacks and anything else I could. Of course Saturday morning when I had just brought back a huge plate of biscuits and gravy and a muffin and everything else (while I'm supposed to be taking my blood sugar to check for diabetes as well) Dr. Nolte walks in and gives me the dirty eye, jokingly. I told him I was sure it wasn't a diabetic approved meal but he joked that if you're going to eat a muffin you might as well get all the good stuff and just eat the top with all the butter and sugar. I was glad he didn't shame me for being a pig!
Overall this delivery was so nice and comfortable. I felt like I knew what to expect and that was so nice. And it was kind of nice to be in the hospital alone to be able to focus on her and me, and just relax and recover for a day. I was kind of sad to have to go home! But I packed everything up and the nurses helped me and Pam came to pick me up on Saturday and we headed home- after making sure we could get her safely in her carseat and in the car.
I was glad that Pam had come up to help. Her and Michael mostly cleaned and that was so nice. The ward of course took care of bringing in meals so she didn't have to worry about cooking and she just played with Levi. Levi LOVES grandma and loved having her here. He was sad to see her go on Sunday, and so was I. But it was nice to spend time with my little boy again. I think he felt like I had abandoned him. It was good to be home and have some normalcy.
One thing I'll always remember about our first night home together was that Michael, about 10pm looks at me and says, "ok, it's time for bed, is she about done?" speaking of Alida being awake. I was like, "you've got to be joking. You know we have a new born here right? There's no going to bed when we want anymore. I have to stay up with her!" He forgets so easily. But I was nice and let him go to bed and went out in the living room to nurse her and let her sleep on my chest. She loves sleeping on my chest. She hates being set down. And I kind of love holding her and having her close. It feels so sweet and tender to hear her breathing and have her close. I'm so glad I have a daughter. I'm so glad she came without any problems. She's such a blessing! So excited to see what her personality is like and to watch her learn and grow.
I know it's going to be hard having 2 kids under t still haven't figured out a lot of the logistics. But I just think, there's no better way to spend my life than bringing these precious souls to earth. Yes it's hard, but so sweet and rewarding. Excited to be a family of 4! Let the fun begin. :)
First, I have to tell you from the very beginning when we found out we were pregnant and that our due date was January 18th, Michael started saying, "Maybe she'll come early and we won't have to pay another deductible, she'll just be covered! And we'll get another tax deduction for the year!" So he always said that she'd come early, more as a joke than anything, but Dec. 29th was the day that he chose as her "new" due date. I had to fiercely fight these thoughts because the last month of pregnancy is already hard enough. I knew I really needed to hunker down and settle in for the long haul after the holidays.
Michael had to work Christmas day, but had the 3 days after, the 26th, 27th and 28th off of work. So we decided to celebrate on those days. His parents also decided to come up on the 26th and 27th so that I wouldn't have to travel so far away from my doctor and hospital when I was so pregnant. We had a great Christmas with them, and enjoyed a little family time on the 28th, Wednesday. Wednesday night was the first day after the holiday rush for Michael and I to sit down and really talk about our birth plan. Who would watch Levi, what days he would take off of work, etc. We were also juggling logistics of Grandpa Kay's funeral on the 7th, including having dad, David and Jonathan fly in to town and staying with us. So we ironed out the days he would take off, who we would ask to watch Levi while we were in the hospital, etc. I remember making a note that night that I still needed to pack my hospital bag. Oh, also, Michael had taken it upon himself to get out the baby swing and all of the bouncers the week before Christmas, just in case. I would just roll my eyes and be bugged because they took up so much room and I knew they could just be put up where the Christmas trees were once they were taken down. I hate that he ended up being right about that! Ha!
Anyway, we had just turned out the light to go to bed and I was gearing up for my day of travel the next day- I was planning to go to Costco to pick up the second half of my picture Christmas cards and order contacts to use my vision benefit for the year. I had been waiting to do this all month so was anxious to get on it. I also was thinking about my visiting teaching ladies, and how I needed to see them this week and bring them some Christmas cheer. As I was mentally winding down I started feeling contractions. This had happened before so I didn't think much of it, and I thought if it was anything, it would wake me up from sleep so I might as well go to sleep.
Well, there was no sleep to be had. Michael had rolled over and dozed off almost immediately but my contractions were coming pretty regularly and were a little painful. They started at 11pm and about midnight I turned the light back on and woke up Michael and told him I was having contractions and he might want to keep track. In his sleepy stupor he agreed and then went back to sleep. I tried to wake him at the beginning of a couple of contractions, but it was obvious to me that he was really tired, and if it really was labor, there was no sense in both of us being sleep deprived. I'd go out on the couch and keep track of the contractions and come and wake him up if we needed to go to the hospital.
So about midnight I'm out on the couch, with my "Preparing for Childbirth" booklet the hospital gave me, keeping time of when the contractions start and how long they last. I was SO tired so I really tried to fall asleep, but the more I kept time, the more I realized, there would be no sleep that night. They started out about 7 or 8 minutes apart, but then some started coming closer. After a solid hour of tracking and realizing these were consistent contractions, I decided to call the OB department in the hospital and ask for advice on whether or not to come in. On the one hand I didn't want to go and be turned away, after all I was still 3 weeks early, and we had JUST gone to see Dr. Nolte earlier that day and things seemed fine (in the Bio physical profile she was weighing in at 7.5 lbs and I was dilated to a 4, which I thought was a lot but the Dr. didn't seem to think was too big of a deal). In fact we had just scheduled that morning for her to be induced on Jan. 10th, so that we wouldn't have her on my birthday. Ha!
So I called the nurses in the Labor and Delivery area and told them that I had been having consistent contractions for the last hour, and should I come in. The nurse said it would probably be a good idea. I asked if I should stay at home and labor a little longer, but she asked if I was Strep B positive. I responded that I was and she said in that case I better come in for sure because I would need to be on antibiotics for at least 4.5 hours before birth if I was in labor so they better get started. So I hung up the phone (I was in the closet trying so hard to be quiet and not wake anyone up) resigned to the fact that I was in fact in labor and I was going to have to go to the hospital in the middle of the freaking night and wake people up to come and be with Levi!
I came out of the bathroom and woke up Michael and said I think we better go to the hospital. He started to get ready and I started to try to call Teressa Guest. I had arranged with her beforehand to keep her phone on at night so in the off chance I went into labor in the middle of the night she would come over and stay the night at the house with Levi. Well I called- no answer. Called again, no answer. Sent a text. I know how hard it is to wake up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night. So I call again and again and again and again. After 15 times I realize there's no waking this lady. So I call the one person I know will be up in the middle of the night- Susan Rowser. I say, "Hey, are you by chance still up?" She immediately texts back and says, "Yup, what's up?". I told her I was in labor and needed to go to the hospital and asked if she could come stay with Levi. She immediately agreed and said she'd be right over. What a life saver!!
And she did, she showed up just 15 minutes later, and we were out the door to the hospital at 2am. I had time to pack my bag and get ready so that was good, but on the way to the hospital the contractions started coming closer, like every 2-3 minutes. Probably because I was rushing around being frantic before. I started to worry that I might have a baby in the car! Michael was going like 80 mph and I just knew it would be the one time we'd get a speeding ticket. Side note- I've never been more grateful for seat warmers in my life! They were worth every penny we paid to have those suckers in there while I was having my contractions every 3 minutes. So comforting!
We made it to the ER and got checked in to the OB department right at 3am. I told them how fast Levi came and the nurse checked to see if I was dilated. I was already at a 5, so she called Dr. Nolte on whether to start the antibiotics. He said to get started so she hooked me up to an IV and I knew we were in business.
Ironically, once we got to the hospital, my contractions slowed down quite a bit. It was like I relaxed and so did the baby. But I still was having steady, but manageable contractions. Mostly I would just have to wait for a minute for it to pass, but the pain was definitely manageable. The nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural and I told her the pain was manageable right now, so no. But she said to be aware that it would take some time to call an anesthesiologist and wake them up and get them out of bed and over to the hospital so I should decide soon. I felt bad for both Dr. Nolte and the anesthetist so I was kind of hoping things would hold off until at least 6am so they could get a little sleep. Someone might as well! I told her I'd decide later.
By 5am I had only dilated to a 5, so we decided to go on a walk to see if we could get things going again. Well that definitely worked! As we were walking down the halls, I'd have to stop every few minutes and lean on the wall to wait for the contractions to pass. We walked and talked for about 15 minutes but by the end of the walk the contractions were starting to get REAL. I mean I started to remember what that pain was like and decided we better get back and wake up the anesthesiologist before it was too late like last time, and I'd lose my mind. So we got back to the OB department and immediately told the nurse to order the epidural. Got back to my room and all hooked up again and Michael again asked the nurse to get the guy on his way. Apparently he remembered last time too. Ha! I settled into my bed and just started concentrating on breathing.
They checked me again and I was at a 6cm, so the contractions were doing some good. I was squeezing the life out of Michael's hand every contraction and really hoping the pain relief would come soon. Well it did, and he was in my room by 6am. He administered the epidural and it was like sweet sanity returned to my mind and body. Oh the blessed relief. So nice. Not so nice side effect- having no control over my legs or lower body. Oh well, at least I didn't have to feel the contractions anymore.
I think I was so relieved again that my body just kind of kicked back too. I actually went to sleep for a couple of hours which was heavenly. It gave me some much needed rest and then the Dr. wasn't having to come in the middle of the night.
Dr. Nolte showed up about 8am and was like, "Didn't I just see you yesterday?". Ha! I like that guy. I like his sense of humor and feel really comfortable around him. He broke my water to get labor started again, and we were in business. Went from a 6 to a 7cm by 9am and a 7 to a 9 by 10am. I was kind of starting to feel the contractions again through the epidural around 9:30 but I had this nifty little button I could push to administer more medicine through the epidural. At first I thought I'd be tough and not do it, but after like 2 or 3 of those suckers I was done being tough. I'm pretty sure I pushed that button like 4 times in 15 minutes. Those must have been some strong contractions to get through that epidural!
At 10:15am Dr. Nolte made the executive command and everyone started readying the room for birth. The broke down the bed and put all these landing pads out, got out the heavy duty bowls to put the stuff in I guess, and the overhead headlights came on.This was it! Then the blankets came off and I was reminded how everyone and their dog gets to see you in your full glory except for you. And also, my legs didn't work so they were flopping around everywhere like a dead whale. Wonderful. One of the CNAs was holding my left leg, but I asked Michael if he would, and then he could see the birth too. I didn't know at the time that they have mirrors so that you can see the birth. If I knew that I would have asked because I'd rally like to see the crowning of a child sometime. And since I was numb and couldn't really feel anything, I think that would help restore some sense of awareness.
Which reminds me, I really disliked the numbness in the lower half of my body. I started to feel really heavy and uncomfortable, but around 10am things must have been wearing off a little bit because I had control of my right leg and that helped out a lot. I really disliked not having any control over my body.
Anyway, Dr. Nolte said, we're going to have you push during contractions so you tell me when that is and we'll have you push. Because of the medicine I didn't really know exactly when they began and ended so I kind of just guessed. The nurse would say push and then count to 10 while I pushed. Then I'd rest for a couple of seconds and we'd do it again- pushing for 10, and then again a 3rd time. Then the contraction would be over and we'd wait for the next one.
After doing this twice, Dr. Nolte asked if my other kid had dark hair, and I said, No, why? Does this one? He said, she sure does! I was shocked! Dark hair?! Where did that come from? And then it hit me like a ton of bricks- from my mom. From Margaret. It actually made me a little teary eyed. This child would have some characteristics of my mom. And that solidified it for me. Her middle name would be Margaret.
The next contraction came and again I pushed hard. Dr. Nolte had to maneuver her shoulders a little bit and I felt my body moving around but just like that, a baby came out. They took her right out and put her on my belly, all covered in the white stuff and that was that. I had a daughter. Welcome Alida Margaret Brinkerhoff. She looked so...strange to me though. Not like someone I was related to. I didn't think she looked like Levi either. It was puzzling to me. I was trying to figure out who she looked like. She definitely didn't have the Brinkerhoff pudgy toes- she had long delicate fingers and long long toes- I guess that's from me. She had a dimple in her chin and chubby little cheeks- that's from the Brinkerhoff side. And then of course the dark hair from Mom. Other than that, I felt like we'd need to wait and see what look she'd grow in to.
All the medical staff proceeded to do their stuff, and I just layed there with a little white slimy baby on my belly. She was born at 10:35am, like Levi's 10:35pm. I held her for 2 hours skin to skin while Dr. Nolte stitched me up and everyone cleaned everything else up. I wanted Michael to be able to hold her but the told me to keep her on me for at least 2 hours. I tried to get her to latch, and she licked and bobbed and showed interest, but no latching. I was ok with that for the moment and didn't want to have to start stressing about anything else yet. I was just so glad she was here and we were done.
After our skin to skin time, the nurses took her to clean her up, weigh and do some testing. Michael and I took advantage of the time and rested for a couple of hours after lunch. Michael had arranged for Susan Lupold to take Levi from Susan Rowser for the day and decided to go back to Duchesne and get him and stay the night at home. I was kind of glad to have some one on one time with the baby, and I knew Michael was exhausted as well and would need a good night's sleep. He told me he went to bed about 7pm with Levi in the bed awake, but eventually he fell asleep too. Ha, my cute boys.
Kim Wilson decided to come out that night and see the baby, all the way from Herriman, but she didn't get there until 7:30pm that night. She ended up spending the night and it was nice to just talk and have some company. We got ready to go to bed around 10pm, but little miss decided it was time to be awake. I ended up awake with her until about midnight, and tried to feed, but to no avail. I was so tired, I finally decided to take her to the nursery about 12:30am, but then woke up at 2am to get her and bring her back in the room. I started remembering that my last night of full sleep was probably 2 days ago.
Kim got up to drive home at 5 am and I got up as well. I asked the nurses if I could use a pump and started to pump some colostrum to give to baby girl in hopes to avoid jaundice and get my milk supply going. I was happy to be able to pump a little bit and feed it to her through a syringe. I asked about a lactation consultant, but as it was a holiday weekend (New Year's), no one was on staff, so I was again stuck trying to figure things out on my own. I did remember that my milk wouldn't come in for a couple of days though, so I decided not to worry, and just pump what I could. The pediatrician came in to see her and said everything looked great, just a little bruising on her face from delivery, but she had a 9.9 Apgar score and was doing just fine. They had to keep poking her heel every 4 hours to test for low blood sugar but she passed all of those tests. Later that day Michael came with Levi to do the grand introduction and Pam came as well.
Levi wasn't too impressed. He had just woken up from a nap so he was grumpy, but he did seem a little intrigued. He wasn't too patient being in the hospital though, so they just stayed an hour and went home. The hospital also has a strict policy about little kids, only being allowed to visit for 1 hour to prevent RSV. But that was enough time.
After they went home Joyce and Riley came to visit, along with Katie Pack who was working that day. It was really nice to visit with Joyce. It's easy to have good conversation with her. After Joyce went home, I got to just rest and enjoy the endless supply of food- which was good because I was STARVING! I felt like I could eat a whale! I seriously don't remember being so hungry in my life!! Every meal I would go to the cafeteria and get seconds, and snacks and anything else I could. Of course Saturday morning when I had just brought back a huge plate of biscuits and gravy and a muffin and everything else (while I'm supposed to be taking my blood sugar to check for diabetes as well) Dr. Nolte walks in and gives me the dirty eye, jokingly. I told him I was sure it wasn't a diabetic approved meal but he joked that if you're going to eat a muffin you might as well get all the good stuff and just eat the top with all the butter and sugar. I was glad he didn't shame me for being a pig!
Overall this delivery was so nice and comfortable. I felt like I knew what to expect and that was so nice. And it was kind of nice to be in the hospital alone to be able to focus on her and me, and just relax and recover for a day. I was kind of sad to have to go home! But I packed everything up and the nurses helped me and Pam came to pick me up on Saturday and we headed home- after making sure we could get her safely in her carseat and in the car.
I was glad that Pam had come up to help. Her and Michael mostly cleaned and that was so nice. The ward of course took care of bringing in meals so she didn't have to worry about cooking and she just played with Levi. Levi LOVES grandma and loved having her here. He was sad to see her go on Sunday, and so was I. But it was nice to spend time with my little boy again. I think he felt like I had abandoned him. It was good to be home and have some normalcy.
One thing I'll always remember about our first night home together was that Michael, about 10pm looks at me and says, "ok, it's time for bed, is she about done?" speaking of Alida being awake. I was like, "you've got to be joking. You know we have a new born here right? There's no going to bed when we want anymore. I have to stay up with her!" He forgets so easily. But I was nice and let him go to bed and went out in the living room to nurse her and let her sleep on my chest. She loves sleeping on my chest. She hates being set down. And I kind of love holding her and having her close. It feels so sweet and tender to hear her breathing and have her close. I'm so glad I have a daughter. I'm so glad she came without any problems. She's such a blessing! So excited to see what her personality is like and to watch her learn and grow.
I know it's going to be hard having 2 kids under t still haven't figured out a lot of the logistics. But I just think, there's no better way to spend my life than bringing these precious souls to earth. Yes it's hard, but so sweet and rewarding. Excited to be a family of 4! Let the fun begin. :)
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