Jobs, Callings, Homestead, Pets, Landscaping, Reading, Milestones, Travel and Trips, Living circumstances, mental health, marriage, kids leisure activities/hobbies.
4/18/2026
Dear Journal,
The month of March was so filled with significant events I feel like I need to record some thoughts in our private family journal. I've been keeping a written journal of "small plates" that records the miracles, mercy and love of the Lord in our lives on a daily basis. I think this record is the most timeless. Yet I still feel like the physical events and the history of our lives are important to record. And it's enlightening to go back and read old entries as well.
We've been in our home for a little over 4 years now in Bicknell. Gosh we love it here. We've settled into the community as an established family I feel like. I've established a private school for homeschoolers called Sagebrush Academy. We've got about 30 kids that come to electives in our home every other Friday, and I handle the business decisions and finances. That's really helped us to integrate with other like-minded people in the community and it's been an amazingly natural and good fit for everyone. Plus I can accept state scholarship funds for each of the students, and so it's become a source of income for our family as well. About half the funds go back to the students and the rest I was able to use to pour the foundation of our garage and purchase a Honda CRV for all the medical travel we do. It's been such a blessing. Plus I've gotten to know Katie McDonald and Casi VanDyke, and work with Nicole Hicks and Brittany Barber and Josie Wells as teachers and that has been so delightful.
It's been so nice to be able to let go of grant writing and consulting work and be able to focus on the kids. I don't think Michael has loved being back at work, especially out of town in Toquerville. But it has been a good thing to let go of other professional pursuits and learn to be more emotionally available to my kids.
We've really been missing Hawaii this spring. Really really really. It's been a really mild winter- hardly any snow. We've been cozy with our wood burning stove and fires and family read alouds. We're currently reading Trumpet of the Swan and finished the Borrowers with the Homeschool Book Club group- where we read a book and then go watch the movie. Caleb and I also enjoyed reading the original Pinnochio together and are working through other classics like Peter Pan and The Jungle Book.
I want to document March because it was particularly turbulent for me. I'm now the first counselor in the Stake Primary Presidency and often have speaking assignments and training assignments. In March, we had Ward Conferences on the 8th and I was assigned to Loa Ward. The way the Stake does it now is that the presidency splits up and each goes to a different ward, to be able to do Ward Conferences in 2 weeks instead of 6. So I was assigned to Loa Ward. The Stake opens with a song and prayer and some opening remarks, and then we separate into auxilaries and I'm responsible for an hour of training! That's quite the assignment to prepare for. In February I went to Hanksville on the same day a brand new Primary Presidency (Felicity Lusko) was sustained, so I was able to put together an overview of primary and training from the handbook and emphasized setting goals, including non-members and primary activities. But Loa is an established ward, and has an AMAZING presidency (Tammy Pace, Deb James, Montana Cartmell) and are doing amazing things- newsletters, music leader training, activities by the presidency, praying for Callings and activating less-active members. I also had very little time to prepare. But the Spirit intervened and we talked about all the good they are doing. We also talked about the talk "Remembering the Sheep" which talks about counting and accounting for those we have stewardship over and setting goals. The Spirit was strong and all went well, although I didn't have any formal remarks prepared.
The following week I was scheduled to speak in Thurber. And I don't know why but it always feels harder to speak/train in your home ward. Plus, the topic was "focusing on the Atonement and Resurrection during Palm Sunday, Easter and General Conference". which is such a sacred and heavy topic. That week I also had a procedure with Scott where he was going to inject needles into my head where all the tension is from clenching, and just the thought of 10 needles inserted in my head was just totally overwhelming. Then on Thursday of that week, we had to take Jacob to Cedar City to investigate a possible dental infection. He did have a pretty bad infection, so we had to get him started on antibiotics and have him on round-the-clock ibuprofen and tylenol until we could schedule a consultation and sedation for him, which was really stressful. He was in a lot of pain and I worried about if he'd be able to retain any of his teeth. I got pulled over for going 93MPH on the way back from Cedar, trying to get to Richfield to get him some pain medicine while he was crying in pain. I had to teach a Pathway Religion class that night as well, and also had Sagebrush Academy classes going on the next day, Friday, along with Michael's Birthday to commemorate.
It was just too many big events, and not enough bandwidth to wrap my head around them or recover from each, let alone prepare and be spiritually sensitive for a talk on the Atonement. But Sunday morning I woke up early, and I feel like the Lord just wrote my talk for me. He knew I only had a widows mite From talking about the importance of Easter, my personal experience with the Resurrection and needing to know about life after death after my mom died, our personal Easter rituals in our home for each day of holy week. knowing that all is well with the souls of Margaret, Linda and the other woman who were shot and killed in our town because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Then talking about finding not just sorrow and mourning, but JOY in the gospel, and how Jacob teaches us to have joy, despite our circumstances. And ending with my testimony of Christ. I was also able to invite Katie and Nicole to listen in, and they both did. It was an amazing, faith-filled experience. I learned so much, and am so grateful to the Lord for helping me, when I had so little to give. All my family had stayed home because they were sick- Caleb had double ear infections, and everyone else was on an antibiotic as well. But once the Thurber talk was over on the 22nd, life seemed so much lighter.
Michael's Birthday was commemorated with BBQ chicken and mashed potatoes and asparagus Sunday dinner. I also got him new work boots for his birthday. We made him a cake with strawberry topping and pie as well, and grandma and grandpa came over to celebrate. We also celebrated Caleb the Sunday after his birthday because he was sick on his. Although we did pull of a video game birthday party after Sagebrush Academy on the 19th, complete with a bounce house, pinata, balloons, decorations hanging from the ceiling, cupcakes and ice cream. He got the bounce house for his birthday back in January, but also got a big boy blue bike without training wheels and Pokemon cards, a bow and arrow from dad, a multi-tool from mom, a gumball machine and a bubble machine and a cake. I think he had a pretty good birthday.
After the ward conferences, speaking, birthday parties and emergency traveling for Jacob was done, I was ready for things to settle down. But we still had to get Jacob's teeth extracted. By some miracle, they were able to get us in the following Monday to get his teeth extracted. And sweet Toni came with us to help. The sedation and extraction went well. We left at 4:30am and were home before Alida even woke up. I think he must have had a lot of infection in there because he started feeling a lot better right after. I was so glad Toni could go with me and help, and that Pam was willing to watch the kids.
We also had Stake Conference on Palm Sunday, another stressor for me, but luckily, we didn't have to do any training, we got to just be instructed for leadership session. Palm Sunday wasn't as elaborate as it might have been. And Holy week was a bit less prepared than usual as well. But we did commemorate the Lord's resurrection and remembered him the best we could, complete with a simple Passover meal on the floor on Thursday with flat bread, grapes, oranges, fish sticks and other finger foods. I think it's starting to mean a lot to the kids- they helped decorate, turned down all the lights, lit candles and really got into this tradition. I had to teach my Pathway Religion class that night as well, but somehow also got that done.
The following day, someone reached out to me and asked if I would house sit for them in San Diego while they went on vacation. While it might have been totally irresponsible, I just felt that we all needed a break so bad. Between all the medical travel and sickness and stress, we just needed to relax- me most of all. Oh, I didn't even mention my addressing the school board about getting Jacob and RBT and the conversations with the School Board Members, Superintendent, Director of Sped services, etc. So so so much negotiating to get him what he needs. And so much stress, trying to be kind and a peace maker, but also assertive and determined.
ANYWAY by the end of March, we all needed a break. So I decided to say yes, and we loaded up all the kids and Jacob and all our stuff in the CRV, drove down to St. George, got Michael with the Suburban and drove to Las Vegas to stay in the Strat for the night on Friday, and then drove all day on Saturday while listening to General Conference and got in to our home at 7pm on Friday evening. The Paiva family (dad from Brazil and 3 cute girls) had an amazing back yard, with astro turf (that Jacob loved), a pool with a pool cover (that mom loved), and an adorable Yorkie (Hamilton/Hammy), Skyler- a less adorable puppy that chewed everything up and stole our food, Pumpkin the bunny, and Kitty and Kat, two tortoises. My kids were in heaven with all the pets and pool. We were able to go to Cardiff beach (20 minutes away) 3 days in a row. They had beach umbrellas, chairs, boogie boards and even snorkeling gear we got to borrow and we just lazed about in the sun. I got to listen to Theo of Golden, which was such a hart warming and deeply touching book about an old Portugese man who treated everyone he met with such compassion. Jacob LOVED the sand and eating the sand. The kids love the ocean. Levi's getting quite good with a boogie board. Alida built tide pools and a little pool for Jacob. We just had such a good time. I decided to get ambitious and go to Sea World on one day, but immediately regretted it when we spent the whole day in lines. The kids did like the rides and seeing all the marine animals. But definitely not worth the almost $500 to go. We all wished we had just stayed at the beach. We did lose a boogie board and broke a little candle warmer :/, but the family was so gracious and grateful and didn't make us pay for them.
San Diego was a much much much needed break. We came home on Thursday because Jacob had a sedated MRI on Friday at Primary Childrens Hospital, and many getting home was one fiasco after another. Popped tire that required an emergency mobile repair and $500, Alida got car sick and threw up all over the car. Alida's tooth was hurting so bad, we finally figured it wasn't the retainer, she had a tooth infection, just like Jacob, and was literally screaming in pain. However, with each fiasco, there was a miracle of heavenly help. We got a flat where I was able to pull into a target parking lot and do some shopping we needed to do anyway (cuz Skylar chewed up Jacob's last sippy cup), got some flowers and a Thank You card for the Paiva's. Then there was a Chick Fil A across the parking lot we were able to go and eat at and the kids got to play on the playground. Jacob was remarkable content considering he only had bottles to drink most of the trip. We were back on the road within 2.5 hours. I was able to keep my temper and not feel totally out of control with all the set backs. I cleaned up Sis's puke without too many problems. We got a hold of Scott Anderson and he connected us with a dentist here in Bicknell to see Alida the next morning, and got us some antibiotics for her. I miraculously had some amoxicillin on hand from Jacob's tooth infection to give to her. She was able to sleep and the pain subsided. We said a prayer and got through it. And we finally got to Michael in St George at midnight.
Michael was able to take the 3 older kids home and get Alida to the dentist for her tooth and get her antibiotics as well. I was able to get Jacob to his sedated MRI, early even. Kim came to see me at the hospital and chat. The MRI went well, he went to sleep fine, although he was not happy about being deprived of bottles and food for a second time in 2 weeks (he had to be fasting). He came out of the MRI and was coherent enough to even go to Shriner's for PT, although only on 4 hours of sleep. And then we got home to Bicknell that same night and finally I was able to rest. My sweet husband always helps me so much. I couldn't have done all of that without him.
So while San Diego was a much needed break, getting there and back was a bit stressful.
But we got it done! We got it all done! All the emergencies were solved. Miracles abounded. And I was able to take care of allllllllllll the birthdays, special events, speaking, training, IEP conversations and meetings, Sagebrush Academy classes, 2 sedations of my baby boy, San Diego beach trip, and even sickness and antibiotics for all.
I still get stressed just thinking about it! April 10th was his MRI and now it's a week later and I feel like we're finally recovering from it all. We, of course, all got sick once we got home. Turns out it was strep- for all of us. Jacob, and Levi were the worst. Then I started getting it and realized what Levi meant by sore throat and headache. then Jacob started pointing down his throat and I realized he had it too. And then Caleb went down hill too. Alida was already on an antibiotic so luckily she didn't get it. But all the rest of us are on Amoxicillin again.
So we just took it easy this week, skipped school, rested, watched movies in the evening, and caught up with life.
I just had to document that 6 weeks of madness because I still can't believe we got everything done.
Now I've got our Stake Missionary night on Tuesday, and still need to get Alida's tooth extracted with sedation. But my Pathway class is over. I'm taking a break for next term. There's only 1 more Sagebrush Academy class day. The school granted an RFP for ABA services in school so that fight is over for the time. Jacob had all his teeth extracted so hopefully we don't have to worry about his mouth any more for awhile. We're all getting over our sicknesses. The school year is almost over. And I don't have to speak or train with the Stake again until September. Things are starting to slow down to a more reasonable pace again.
I feel like I am a highly capable person. But I can only handle one big event or issue at a time, and then need some time to recover. When there are multiple. large, stretching or significant events, back to back...it's exhausting and I have to crawl into a cave to recover for a long time.
But recover we shall and we'll bounce back on Monday!
We'll get Alida's tooth taken care of. We'll go to St. George for Jacob's speech therapy with someone who knows about non-verbal kids. We'll go to Cedar to look at my deviated septum with an ENT. We'll take care of all the things. And in 6 more weeks it will be summer!
Happy days are ahead! Happy spring! (Don't worry, it was 4* yesterday and 10* this morning
and we got snow and ice, although we had almost no snow this winter.) Summer is still coming!
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