Well, I've been looking back at my calendars, pictures and FB to remember what July was like at as I recall it was pretty uneventful and I was struggling a bit with despair. The combination of not having money to do anything, being pregnancy sick and totally exhausted, and mourning the loss of my friendship with Susan Rowser equaled a combination of a difficult month.
There were a few highlights- we went to the Duchesne 4th of July Celebration in the park and Levi had a blast playing with the water from the firehose and meeting the fire fighter mascot dog. But that night he also became very very sick and had a fever the next day. Poor little guy.
At his 1 year check-in Levi weighed 17.5 lbs and was 28 inches tall- the 2nd percentile for both categories. But Dr. Staker isn't worried about him so I've decided not to be either. I like how small he is.
July seemed to be full of depressing news of terrorist attacks almost every single night. And so much anger and contention and bickering about politics. Especially with the fall out with Susan over politics I had been reading and studying about contention and kindness and just started being overwhelmed at all the negativity in the world. I just kind of had to disconnect from all of it and try to find places of peace and comfort. Especially when I'm sad or depressed, it's hard to be surrounded by that kind of stuff.
Lily, one of our two female cats, had a litter of 7 cute kittens on July 2nd. It was so fun to show them to Levi and watch him get all excited about the little furry things. Our chickens started laying eggs too in the middle of July and that was really fun and exciting! Levi loves our animals and they love him. It's fun to watch the hens follow him around hoping he drops some crumbs or something. :)
We also announced in the middle of July that we were expecting our 2nd baby, which we thought was a boy at the time. We got lots of support and excitement from people, and it was a relief to finally be able to tell people why I was MIA all the time!
Probably the highlight of the month was going on a hike up the Rock Creek Reservoir. It felt great to get out, exercise and have some fun. I think I need more of that in my life.
Actually, the highlight was going to see my convert Shin Mi Young and her two daughters that were visiting Utah for a couple of months for an English immersion program. I'm just going to copy here what I wrote on FB about it:
13 years ago I had the sweet experience of teaching this woman the restored gospel of Jesus Christ in Korea. She was baptised right before I completed my mission, one of only 2 families I was able to see come into the church. 2 years later I was able to return to Korea to see her and her family sealed in the Korean Temple. They are a very active and faithful family in the church.
This summer she brought her daughters to Utah for an English study program and I was able to spend some time with them on Saturday.
Something that is really silly about me is that I get so embarrassed of my speaking skills (Spanish and Korean (and English come to think if it)) that often when I hear or see native speakers, I don't say anything at all, for fear it won't be prefect. I struggled with this on my mission as well. My lack of confidence often paralyzed me from even trying. Even still it creates tremendous internal turmoil when the opportunity arises, much like public speaking- it's miserable! So when I heard she was here, I knew I wanted to see her but was worried about how well I'd be able to communicate. I knew I couldn't pass the opportunity up, so we set a date to get together and I started to worry.
As I drove out to see her and her daughters on Saturday, I said many payers that I'd be able to feel calm, and be able to communicate to her my love. Then the thought dawned on me, if I was in a foreign country and nobody spoke my language but somebody came along and spoke some broken English the last thing I would do was think about how poor the English was! I would be just ecstatic that they could communicate at all. I thought about what a comfort it would be to her to finally have somebody in America who would understand her in her native language. So I took courage and went in with love.
Well, just as happened on my mission, my prayers were answered. I remembered much of my Korean and we had such a sweet reunion. One of the tender mercies of the Lord was that one of the first things she said was, "Sister Kay, still to this day, of all the missionaries who have ever come to our ward, you spoke the best Korean of them all!" Although I don't really believe this is true, it gave me the confidence to try. It made me realize what a difference it makes when someone has faith in you! Suddenly you're willing to try things that are scary. Criticism (from self or others) paralyzes. Faith empowers.
I'm so grateful for the wonderful missionary experience I had and for the actual gift of tongues the Lord blessed me with while I was there, and the great faith He had in me. And I'm grateful that even 13 years later He still is willing to help a stumbling return missionary remember Korean to bless both of our lives. Such a tender mercy.
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